Confidence looks good on you.
We’ve all admired someone who seems to naturally radiate confidence — how can we not. They make it look so effortless. The way they walk, talk, dress… just everything about them screams confidence. Now, on the flip side, I know you’ve also noticed (maybe even loathed) someone who comes off as arrogant or cocky. The person who can never do anything wrong and is right about everything. There is such a fine line between these two words; they are so similar yet different. What do these words mean? How do we display confidence instead of arrogance? How do we gain and maintain confidence? How do we overcome the insecurities holding us back?
Marriam-Webster Dictionary defines the following as:
Confidence: a feeling or consciousness of one’s powers or of reliance on one’s circumstances
Arrogance: an attitude of superiority manifested in an overbearing manner or in presumptuous claims or assumptions
I’ve simply referenced the dictionary definition of the words but what exactly do they mean beyond that? In simpler terms, confidence is us acknowledging and being aware of what we are capable of and also having that feeling of self-assurance. Whereas arrogance is essentially thinking we are superior to others…and making it known…often.
The word that divides these two words is: humility
freedom from pride or arrogance : the quality or state of being humble
There’s absolutely nothing wrong with thinking you’re the shit! We need to love ourselves, boost ourselves, and cheer ourselves on throughout life. At the end of the day, when no one else is there, we got to have our own backs.
I think what it really boils down to is the way an individual carries themselves in their daily life. Are they a team player- good leader AND follower? Do they actively listen to others input- even when they don’t agree? Do they admit when they’re wrong or when they don’t know something? And lastly, do they genuinely try to put their best foot forward. These are all things that a confident individual does. They aren’t afraid to swallow their pride and be vulnerable in situations. They admit they aren’t perfect and don’t try to put on this facade.
Some of you might be thinking, “How do I become confident?” or “I have so many insecurities, I could never be confident in myself”. Trust me, I am right there with you. I have struggled my entire life with this — and still making a conscious effort daily! I never believed in myself, I didn’t think very highly of myself, and honestly… I didn’t love myself. I always felt like I needed validation from others to be considered worthy of great things (we’ll dive deeper into the self love later). If I did something I thought was cool but no one else acknowledged that it was cool then I just assumed that it wasn’t worth being proud of. I also noticed that I was constantly comparing myself to others. It took me till my mid 20’s to truly realize that confidence comes from within. You don’t just wake up one random day and have all the confidence in the world…(and if you do I need your secrets). You have dig deep within yourself and address your insecurities head on. It will be uncomfortable at first, but that’s the only way you’ll grow. In order to progress and grow as a person, YOU HAVE TO GET COMFORTABLE WITH BEING UNCOMFORTABLE. Read that again.
In one of my sessions with my wonderful counselor, we were discussing this exact topic. I was telling her how I had been struggling with confidence for as long as I could remember. One of my biggest insecurities was that I cared too much about what other people thought of me. I was afraid of judgement and put too much emphasis on their opinions. I kept asking her “how do I learn to not care what other people think?” I wanted nothing more than to gain just the slightest bit of confidence in myself but that was one of my biggest insecurities. You know what she told me?
“Do what makes you feel uncomfortable. Keep doing it over and over until it feels normal.”
It sounded terrifying at first. But it’s been easier ever since. There are still those days when I get in my own head, but I can usually talk myself out of it.
Not only that, but we also talked about how people don’t really give a shit about you. That sounds harsh, but think about it. Most people are wrapped up in their own little worlds to really care. You think Samantha really gives a shit that you wore a crop top to the gym? No. You think John actually cares about your Instagram post? No. Wear whatever clothes you want, post whatever pictures you want, write whatever statuses you want. Do the things that you enjoy and master the art of not giving a fuck what other people think.
BE YOU AND BELIEVE IN YOURSELF. YOU ARE THE SHIT!
Confidence looks good on you!
